I'm just so over it. I wish it wasn't like this, but it is. I don't want Christmas without my Dad. It was his favourite time of the year and he isn't here. It's just not fair. Our family Christmas show, the Christmas Eve dinner, Christmas day at my Nanna's. How am I supposed to do it all without him??? HOW????
I just wish I could find a psychologists before Christmas.
At least I might see my ex on Christmas day. He might see me in the evening. And after the family show, we're going to a Christmas party together. I just wish that it was this time next week. Then, a lot of crappy days at work would be finished. A lot of shitty 12 till 8pm shifts over.
When they ask me why I'm leaving the job, I'm telling them: The hours are pathetic. The being on call 24 hours is unfair. All the managers are just in it for themselves and the pay rates are really poor. Hopefully I can finish my degree next year and get a job. I hate my job and it's making me hate my life even more then I usually do.
My weight isn't budging much. I'm attempting to regulate my eating, just so my metabolism actually starts working again. It hasn't yet.
I'm upping my exercisers, just to see if it works.
I need to loose more weight. It's just not good enough.
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