Another month..... and a BIG milestone.....

Tomorrow, I will be purge free for 1 whole month. It is the longest I've gone in over four years. I may actually be longer then that, I'm not really sure....

My last date of purging was on Thursday the 28th of August. Why did I stop? Lots of reasons, but my teeth were/are a big factor. I looked into the mirror on the Thursday and saw that my two front teeth are going grey and more translucent. They're wasting away. Aside from that, I was getting crippling stomach cramps, which I put down to something relating to my period or another reproductive system problem - but which went away when I stopped purging. Every time I ate, the food either started to come up on its own, because that's what my body thought it was supposed to do - or I would get more cramps and feel so bloated, that I purged just to stop it. It was a cruel cycle.

Now, I'm eating, sort of. I will admit to fasting. I will admit that I skip meals, see how long I can go without eating, limit my calories and exercise more, but as I keep telling myself, ONE STEP AT A TIME. Yes, my body still isn't happy with food inside it and I get bloated easily, feel sick sometimes just from eating and have other.... digestive issues, but I know I needed to stop. It was stop, or have my body stop.

In other news, I've been promoted at work. I am now a store manager. More responsibility, stress, hours and problems for $11 extra a week. I can't complain, it's what I wanted. It's what I wanted in THIS job, anyway.

I still want a new job. I keep looking, keep applying and NOTHING. It's starting to depress me more then anything else at the moment.

My sessions with the psychologist are going alright, I guess, but I'm avoiding him at the moment. It's a long way away to see him and it's draining to spend an hour and 15 minutes talking about my problems and finding only dead ends, rather then solutions. I know I have to go, but I need to have the energy to do it, otherwise it's pointless.

I'm still seeing my ex. I still want more from him, but for now, I'm happy for the laughter, stories and experiences we share. I want to make our time a enjoyable distraction from the time his spends stressing about his work and other things. Maybe he'll want something more, eventually.... I can only dream....

My studies are going well. I got a Distinction for one of my Masters classes and am still waiting for the other grade. The funny thing is, I'll actually complete the qualifications for my Masters, before I complete the ones for my Grad Dip. How silly is that!!! I'm actually starting to think about what to study next.....

Tomorrow, I start eight days in a row at work. All by myself. No assistant. Anything happens, there is only me to be contacted. It's going to be hellish, I can tell.