Another day.. another night, .....another circle

Round and round it goes. When does it stop??? Does it ever???

My stomach is gurgling and churning. It aches and it hurts and every now and then I have bad reflux. Every time the reflux happens, my stomach lurches and sloshes around and my throat is sore from the acid.

It was empty. Then it was so full and distended that I could breath. Then it was almost empty (why can't everything come up? WHY???), then I had to fill it again. Not a lot, but enough to make me feel sick. Maybe the combination of food is making it worse. An ice cream, yogurt, cheese, coke zero and lime water. It's probably curdling in there. It's trying to digest, but I think my body is so fucked up now that it has a really hard time digesting anything. It has to push it around and spin it around in my stomach and produce painful acid to break it down to a form that can be pushed through my fucked up system.

I feel sick.

I hate work. The weekend is over. I have to work five more days till I get another day off. When I do, I'm going to be so exhausted that i'll sleep for the weekend.

I have blood tests tomorrow. Fantastic. What will they come up with now? Low electrolytes, low potassium, low everything. Great.

My back hurts. My body hurts. 27 and I feel 100.

This is the body of someone with an eating disorder.