Okay, you say you're going to ask me, NOW ASK ME!!!!!

So I went to the pub last night. And my friend was there. Joking around with me, giving me that 'look', giving me all the signs that he still likes me. Then he tells me we need to see a movie. 'I Am Legend', with Will Smith. I mentioned a couple of weeks ago that I wanted to see it, and last night he says we should see it together. I told him it sounded good and that it was up to him to organize a time. He kept saying he will, but he didn't. ASK ME FOR GOODNESS SAKE!!!! I won't say no! I want to see it. I want to see you outside that pub. If I'm going to explore our relationship, I need to do it with the two of us together and not in the pub! He's told me he'll call me. Like he hasn't said that before!!! He wanted me to stay last night, but I couldn't. I was tired and I needed to sleep in my own bed. I needed to sleep as long as my body wanted me too and as he has his daughters this weekend, I would have had to get up early. So it was better that I left. He looked disappointed, but I couldn't help it. Now if he would just CALL me and ASK ME OUT!!!!!

My ex was over today. He looked tired and sad, but he still made time for me. I appreciate what he gives me so much. I know its time together and having fun together that will bring us together again, so I love that it's HIM that initiates the time together.

I am worried, though. My laxatives disappeared. I really needed them last night. I stuck to my plain, but my alcohloic drinks are mixed with milk, so I wanted the extra calories out. But I couldn't find my laxatives. They were gone. I know I had half a pack, but they disappeared. I know he hates me having them. I know he's worried about me and I know he wouldn't talk to me directly. He wants me to come to him and ask him why he took them, just so he could ask me why I had them. So I've said nothing. I went out today to buy more. I really need them. I have an amazing dinner tomorrow night, with my ex and our two best friends and I need to NOT look like the bloated whale I do now. I've taking 8. Twice the recommended dose, but not enough, I hope, to have me running to the bathroom over dinner. I need to have it all out in the morning, so I can spend lunch and dinner with my ex and our friends.

My house is a MESS! Stuff and clutter everywhere. I'm going to spend tonight cleaning it, so I can spend tomorrow and Monday doing nothing. The only thing I want left to do is my floors. A quick vacume and mop before my inspection tomorrow.

I'm hoping to burn some extra calories tonight cleaning up. I stopped eating at 3pm and with my laxatives, I hope to be empty by the morning.

My weight isn't budging. Still fat.